Catch up: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

SZ tries the claw machine aiming to get the white bear with the cute pink bow that DJ once won for her. Reminiscing forces action out of you.

On the claw machine beside her, a silent JM smiles at the sight of her trying to get the plushie. He gives it a shot himself but just as he wins, SZ lets out a triumphant yelp. She won the bear!

Turning she sees JM also holding the same bear. “I guess I’ll take this one with me,” he laughs it off.

Perfect, one for each of them. JM suggests grabbing dinner but it’s getting late so they head back to campus.

The poor guy has feelings for SZ but she’s either oblivious or trying to gently dissuade him because she’s disinterested in pursuing anything more than a friendship.

Her roommate WW on the other hand is very interested in JM. She also happens to be very aware of his interest in SZ but there’s nothing to do about that, you like who you like.

I wish that someone could be with him and I wish that person to be me

The dorm girls are prepping to head to a New Year’s celebration that SZ had decided not to attend despite all the girls’ persuasive efforts.

Outside NW’s boyfriend is waiting along with JM who’s a close friend of his. Not seeing SZ in the group, he asks if she’s not coming, he’d been hoping to see her that night. But the celebration will be crowded and SZ has never liked crowds. Hearing this, JM cautiously stuffs the little present he’d gotten her for New Year’s in his pocket.

Alone in the room about to descend upon her takeout order, SZ gets a call from DJ.

“What are you doing?” is his direct way of communicating with her. He does get to the point.

She tells him nothing; he tells her she’s coming with him to a company dinner. He can bring family so she’s coming along.

I’m not your family she thinks then passes on the order (it was definitely not much of a question on his part).

Picking up on her potential dislike of crowds considering SZ is more of an introvert, DJ offers that the two of them have dinner instead. Though she wants to refuse, DJ talks her into it. After all, she does want to spend time with him however one may read into that desire.

A little later, the two are eating at the restaurant DJ reserved. He wonders if she didn’t go out with her roommates because they don’t get along. But that’s not true, the girls are close. Her roommates’ celebration plans involved going to the main plaza for the countdown. However, it’s too crowded for her and much colder than she’s used to so she didn’t want to go out.

“But you said yes the minute I asked you,” DJ says while looking at her.

“That’s because I owe you a meal and, if I refused, you’d think I’m trying to get out of treating you”. Nice save.

He was just kidding which reminds him to apologize for the teasing at the hospital that made her upset. She can consider this meal his treat!

Hearing that, SZ argues they agreed it was her treat considering she owes him a meal. DJ, however, doesn’t understand where she’s going with that statement.

“Do you mean that after this meal we don’t need to meet again? Have some sympathy for this lonely old man. You don’t even want to have a meal with your brother”.

He should eat and stop being so talkative. The last thing SZ needs to hear is him referring to himself as her brother once more.

It’s not every day he gets to eat a meal with her, he can’t help wanting to talk more.

As she turns the conversation to SZ’s progress in her studies, two women are about to walk by when one recognizes him and stops.

“Why won’t you answer my calls?” she demands from a surprised DJ who looks up to see JY (the girl pestering him).

He’s told her she doesn’t need to bother staying in touch anymore. Hearing his dismissal makes JY grab a glass of water from the table tossing its contents straight at the sitting DJ’s face.

Reacting fast, SZ grabs her own glass of water then smoothly gets up, turns, and tosses its contents straight into the unexpecting JY’s face.

“Who are you? What’s wrong with you?” JY screams at SZ.

“And what’s wrong with you?” is SZ’s calm reply. She’s furious but yelling at this biss won’t make the situation better.

“It’s none of your business! Do you know why I did that?” JY screams back. SZ’s calm is making her angrier.

She doesn’t care to know why. “If you had assaulted him, I would’ve returned the favor”.

JY grabs a platter from the table seemingly to throw at SZ but DJ intercepts her and throws the platter at the ground. That’s enough, she crossed a line. A waiter throws JY and her friend out of the restaurant, her screams in a continuous stream.

SZ pulls the rather dazed DJ out of the restaurant. Pausing outside, she hands him his coat and wipes on his face with her scarf. He looks at her determined, non-judgemental face searching for any sign of upset but SZ only proceeds to wrap the scarf around his neck.

“So DJ, who is that woman?”

“No one important”. She looks at him, seriously? That’s all he was going to say after the entire fiasco?

“Actually, she’s my dad’s ex-creditor” DJ reluctantly reveals.

SZ recalls running into her the day she went to get DJ’s stuff when he was hospitalized. The woman was probably there to see him but did she do this every time? Even though she’s his dad’s former creditor, it doesn’t mean DJ should let her bully him.

DJ denies letting her bully him; SZ isn’t convinced, she’s deeply concerned (and rightfully incensed on his behalf). She sees a slight bruise on his left cheek probably caused by the woman’s cruel spill of the glass contents. She pulls out an ointment from her purse, lightly dabbing with her cream.

He won’t stop looking at her, what’s going through his mind?

“Thank you SZ,” he sincerely tells her. They both issue a tiny smile at one another. Suddenly it starts to snow, the first snowfall of the year. DJ hesitantly raises his hand to pat SZ’s upturned head gently when she turns with a wide smile. It’s been a long time since anyone has cared for him like this little monster did today.

SZ closes her eyes to make a wish. I wish that all bad things will stay away from DJ and that someone can be with him. I wish that person is me.

“Aren’t you going to make a wish?” she asks DJ who’s looking straight at her.

It doesn’t snow often in that city, the last time it did DJ was in tenth grade. They’re both lucky, she for experiencing a rare first snowfall while he for experiencing it with her. A wish at the first snowfall is said to come true. DJ closes his eyes, I wish SZ will always be happy and healthy and so will I.

Their wishes are secret or they won’t come true; the two keep looking at the beautiful sight of the falling snow. As SZ catches some flakes from the air she misses DJ’s affectionate expression looking at her movements.

There’s someone who’s caught his eye, isn’t there?

Walking home that night, DJ encounters a waiting JY who apologizes for being too impulsive.

Rather frantically with tears, she wants him to apologize to his friend for her behavior. There’s hardly any sincerity in her emotional show, DJ just wants to get away from her.

“I already told you not to contact me anymore,” he tells her.

“So you’re cutting me off after paying off the debt? Don’t you know that you owe me?” she grabs and starts shaking him.

“Your dad killed my dad! You know what you owe me,” she yells amid a torrent of tears.

He’s repaid what he should; his dad also paid the price of his actions. JY continues guilting him by reminding him of his mom’s promise to her mom that DJ will always look after JY. Finally, inside the door, DJ heads upstairs to his apartment, the joy of the evening spent with SZ destroyed by a reminder of the past.

Disturbed he heads to the bathroom anxiously washing his hands as if trying to wash off the entire encounter. But memories break through his mental barrier and he remembers he and his mom getting thrown out of JY’s family house when they went to offer sincere apologies. His devastated mother had gotten on her knees outside the door of the grieving family promising to pay the compensation issued by the court even if it meant selling their house, taking out a loan, and borrowing money. She’s promised she and DJ would look after JY and her mom for life.

The young DJ had written a letter of apology to hand to JY as well as tried to approach and offer his help following her absence at school. But he’d been ignored by her (perhaps rightfully so due to association) and rumors started spreading of his dad running over her dad who died because the other man fled the scene, leaving him on the street instead of stopping to help. DJ had become a murderer’s son overnight and there was no defense he could use, nothing he could do or say to make anything better.

Even many years after he still couldn’t reconcile with those events. He gets out of the bathroom and sees a photo of him and SZ taken at his college graduation. Seeing her, he’s reminded of her words earlier that night telling him JY is his dad’s former creditor so it has nothing to do with him and he shouldn’t let her bully him. He’s thankful for those words since, for a long time, everyone was setting the blame for his dad’s actions on his shoulders.

Later that night, DJ receives a call from his college buddy QF who happily informs him of his engagement.

Smiling to himself DJ says, “I’m sorry to hear you’re getting married, I thought you said you’ll stay single with me!” QF reveals he only said that to make him feel better, did he actually take it seriously?

“What about you? Didn’t you say you were going on a blind date?” QF asks. DJ has no idea where he got that from (that was the alleged girlfriend rumor SZ had heard from her brother, QF is quite the gossip).

The happy QF isn’t done probing. “Has anyone caught your eye? You must have feelings for someone”. At that statement, the moment of him standing next to SZ catching a snowflake flashes right in front of DJ’s mind.

“DJ, I think I’ve caught a smidge of something from your few seconds of silence,” QF teases on the other end.

DJ hangs up, confusion marring his brow. What just happened? What is he thinking?

You have someone you like but what if I can be that someone?

SZ can’t focus on any of her school exam material. DJ’s words keep replaying in her head, Don’t come straight to my office or my place anymore. If you do, let me know beforehand.

He’d pulled her aside outside his office when he said that, looking a bit off. She’d expected him to call and explain his odd behavior but nothing so far.

DJ eventually did text to ask about her exams and when she planned on going back home for a visit. He asked her out for a meal as well to celebrate but SZ doesn’t have time. She’ll probably celebrate with her friends, it’s normal albeit disappointing to hear. DJ doesn’t hold it against her, he understands.

But SZ can’t stand his “okay” to her response. Of course, she wants to have a meal with him, she wants to see him, and she also wants him to explain what the heck is going on.

Frustrated yet unable to express let alone willing to acknowledge her frustration, SZ sympathizes with NW’s breakdown in the dorm one late evening. NW needs a break from everything and SZ thinks what better time to go out and grab some drinks. Her roommates do a double take at that considering her mother is about to call her in a little while. And they have exams tomorrow.

The girls agree tomorrow post exams would make much more sense, one more day to hold onto all the recent frustrations.

WW however is very observant, she’s noticed SZ isn’t quite herself as though she’s tormented by something on her mind. She might not express it but WW has sensed SZ’s been down lately.

If she’s still in touch with “Brother No. 2” (aka DJ), WW suggests she might stop contacting him if he doesn’t treat her well because she treats him far too well. SZ protests that he treats her well though she can’t quite voice her unease.

I have a secret that I’ve been hiding in my heart for a long time

The next day after the exams the girls, along with NW’s boyfriend (apparently they made up after the spat that prompted NW’s blowup in the dorm the previous night), and his friend, JM, go out for drinks.

Uncharacteristically, SZ becomes somewhat adventurous with her drinks. She’s tipsy there’s no way around it.

Meanwhile, DJ is at work but remembers (he actually wrote it on a post-it to not forget) that SZ will be heading home tomorrow. He texts if she’s packed and if she’d like him to drop her off at the airport. He’s been busy with work lately and hasn’t been in touch much with SZ.

In truth, the day she came to give him a present he’d been running away from the company because JY had decided to harass him at his workplace. He’d run into SZ outside and, afraid for her safety, had told her to keep her distance.

At the bar, JM sees an adorably drunk SZ clapping her hands as the performance ends. Smiling, he heads to the stage to surprise SZ with a song for his “friends” but, let’s be honest, meant solely for her. Oblivious and thoroughly out of it, SZ gets distracted by DJ’s text. She gets up abruptly declaring she’s going to the restroom.

As she’s stumbling along, DJ calls (she took too long to respond).

“Why didn’t you reply to my message?”

No response, music can be heard from the background.

“Where are you?”

“I’m at a bar”.

“Who are you with?”

“With friends”.

“Did you drink?”

“A little”.

“What’s the name of the bar?”

SZ looks around to read a rather long name. DJ tells her to wait inside, he’ll be there momentarily.

Why is he coming?

“To catch a drunkard,” is his response.

He won’t let her go and see him but he wants to come and see her, he’s so weird.

Heading back to their table, SZ lets her friends know she’s getting picked up. JM volunteers to walk her out despite her protests that she’s fine, her brother is going to pick her up and she didn’t drink that much.

Walking outside, JM admits that he wanted to dedicate the song her performed to her. SZ looks at him before bending over wanting to throw up. JM bends next to her and that’s how DJ comes upon them. Concerned but also none too happy with the sight of the young man next to SZ, DJ hurries forward.

JM introduces himself realizing this must be SZ’s brother though, for some reason, he’s getting an undercurrent of something he can’t quite pinpoint. DJ keeps his greeting brief and thanks JM out of courtesy with a ghost of a smile as JM heads back in.

“Who said you could drink at a bar?” an unsmiling DJ drags SZ along.

She’s a grown-up adult, why can’t she visit a bar? SZ’s suddenly pissed. Why can’t she be there if she’s an adult? He’s the one who told her when she grows up she can do whatever she wants.

“Now I’m an adult but there are still many things I can’t do. Or I’m too afraid to do,” a teary SZ admits.

She drops into a squat feeling sick. DJ refuses to let her squat in the cold so he decides to carry her on his back. Helping her up, SZ throws up right onto DJ’s jacket before collapsing into his embrace momentarily passing out. DJ stands there holding her.

He drags her along a little further before SZ again stops unable to walk. She prompts him to not be mean but DJ throws his caring eyes straight at the little drunkard on the floor wondering when he was ever mean to her.

SZ will not let him carry her because he just had surgery. He can’t do heavy lifting for three months, according to the doc. Three months have passed, he reminds SZ who’s rather astonished at the news.

“Get up I’ll carry you,” a patient and understanding DJ tells her.

He can’t carry her! She weighs over 45kg, she’s still fat, and she can’t help it, she starts crying. A baffled DJ can’t help but laugh at her repeating amid cries that she’s over 45kg and still fat.

He tries to stop laughing but the entire situation with SZ on the floor worrying she’s too heavy for him to carry is beyond amusing. She’s adorable in worrying so much about being a heavy burden for him even though she’s drunk.

Finally convincing her to get onto his back, DJ’s next goal is to make her stop crying. Getting emotional and a little serious, SZ admits to DJ she has a secret.

“A secret that I’ve been hiding in my heart for a long time”.

“Do you want to tell me?” he slowly asks.

“Well, there’s someone I really like but he just doesn’t like me,” she stutters.

“Who is it?”

“I can’t tell you”.

“Not even me?”

No, not even him. SZ is so deeply sad that DJ realizes she’s not joking, her emotions are serious. She’s sad because of the person she likes and DJ isn’t liking that person one damn bit.

“He’s really nice, he’s really nice to me but he’s nice to everyone. He’s nice to everyone, he’s a ladies’ man,” SZ cries out.

DJ realizes whoever this guy is he’s made her heartbroken and that’s a sin right there. If he’s someone like that, she should stop liking him. He doesn’t deserve a single part of her or her feelings.

Reaching his car at last, he settles SZ in the front seat covering her with a blanket. He looks at her with rather sad eyes. She has a guy she likes even if he’s a douchebag.

“Why don’t I become like him? And I’ll be nice to you alone, that way our SZ won’t be sad anymore,” he tells a sleeping SZ. “Letting someone else take care of you makes me uneasy. If you don’t say anything, I’ll take it as a yes,” he continues in this one-sided conversation.

“My situation has improved and I’ve paid all my debts. I have a pretty great personality. The only thing is I’m a little older than you. When I was 21, you already thought I was old, now rounding up I’m almost 29 (he’s internalized her jokes about his age). SZ is grown up now,” he raises a gentle finger to her cheek wanting to caress it.

What is he doing? He just confessed to a sleeping, drunk SZ with feelings that go beyond brotherly affection.

・❥・

Waking up to vague recollections of the night before, SZ can only think of the fact she threw up on DJ!

She recalls him saying something in the car but can’t be sure of anything. What was there to say to a drunkard like her anyway?

DJ texts that he made sure to tell her roommate to wake her up early so she doesn’t miss her flight home. He’ll be there to pick her up later that morning.

SZ’s headache isn’t making her shame any better. Her roommates surround her with water and plenty of questions.

“Is the guy who brought you back last night your brother’s friend, your crush, whom you mentioned before?” a giddy NW asks. The girls exclaim at her nod.

“You said he was handsome but you didn’t say he’s that handsome!” NW cries out. SZ doesn’t know what she means, she told them he’s very handsome.

She needs to know if he seemed upset last night or unhappy. The girls deny seeing anything wrong with him but NW wonders if SZ’s asking because she did something last night. But no she didn’t do anything, they just need to watch and make sure she never drinks that much ever again.

NW’s not done, “You must have confessed your feelings to him!”

SZ is sure if she’d confessed she probably wouldn’t have woken up that morning. The girls still try to figure out what she did do to prompt her vehement desire to stop drinking until WW guesses SZ must’ve thrown up on him.

“SZ you threw up on your crush!” YZ exclaims as the other girls gasp. Shame.

After quickly packing, SZ wonders why DJ is insisting on driving her to the airport. How can she face him after what happened last night?

Outside, DJ is sitting in his car waiting for SZ to come out, deep in thought following his unheard confession last night.

As he rolls her luggage into the car, JM comes up to SZ asking how she’s doing after last night. He wonders if she remembers what he told her but, just as he’s about to remind her, he notices DJ by the car.

Last night JM sang a song but SZ doesn’t remember a song at all. He even played the guitar on stage, damn SZ missed a lot. “I prepared the performance for you,” he admits though this isn’t going how he’d hoped it would.

“SZ, I like you, I want you to know that,” JM finally says. SZ recalls when DJ advised her that it’s ok to have someone like you as long as you thank them and reject them kindly. She throws a glance at his waiting form in the car.

“Thank you for liking me,” SZ starts, “but there’s someone else I like”. She’s sorry that she can’t reciprocate his feelings. JM tells her there’s nothing to be sorry about, they can still be friends. He smiles and hands her a breakfast he’d gotten for her trip wishing her a good time off. Disappointed though he was, there’s no reason to force your feelings onto others, JM knows that.

During the drive, there’s not much conversation going on. DJ isn’t too happy with JM’s appearance that morning nor with SZ right next to him munching on the breakfast JM handed her.

Determined to remember more of what happened yesterday because something must’ve happened considering DJ’s reserved mood, SZ tries to stir the conversation with fill-in-the-blanks for him. He’s not that obliging.

“Who did you go with (at the bar)?” DJ asks because quite frankly he’d only seen JM that night at the bar.

“My roommates!” SZ answers honestly.

“Roommates? What about the guy who came out with you yesterday? The one who’s 195cm tall and just gave you a hamburger? Is he also your roommate?”

“No, that’s my roommate’s boyfriend’s friend”.

“Is it him? The guy you like?” DJ asks her.

SZ looks away, oh no, what did she say last night?